Reply to Hell will freeze over before my kid sleeps at your house

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[quote=Anonymous]My husband's brother and his wife have a child almost the same age as my child (early elementary). They live about an hour away from us, so we don't see them very often. Mostly at family functions. My brother-in-law has a history of heroin use and his life is basically a string of bad decisions. He's really into guns and weapons and not very concerned with locking them up.

My sister-in-law (his wife) is constantly asking me if my child can spend the night at their house. It's easy enough to make excuses when she suggests a specific date, ("Oh we have plans that day.") But lately it's been a broad ask, like "sometime this summer". She clearly hasn't gotten the hint that we're trying to avoid this situation. And she asks right in front of my kid. Actually, she directs it to my child, "Wouldn't it be so fun for you to spend the night and we could go to Chuck E. Cheese and eat candy and watch movies?" My kid would love to spend time with the cousin and thinks I'm being unreasonable because I have, obviously, not gone into detail about why my child can't sleepover. So I look like the bad guy.

How should I deal with this? There is no way in hell that my child will be sleeping over at their house. But it seems like I'm past the point of making excuses. Is it time for me to tell her the truth? My husband has very little patience for his brother. So he's not likely to deal with the situation in a diplomatic way. Do I just tell her that I don't think it's safe? I'm not looking to stir up trouble! Help![/quote]

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