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[quote=Anonymous]I'd appreciate some objective advice on this.  Basically - I am the oldest.  I was the only academically oriented one, and I am much, much less attractive than my two (not so book smart) sisters.  My parents both have blue collar jobs, and have only a high school degree.  But they're both very good looking, willing to spend their money flaunting imaginary wealth (more like living paycheck to paycheck to afford the BMW and 3 carat diamond), and think they're the best.  Both of them are hardcore narcissists.

My entire childhood I was called fat, ugly, pizza face, you name it.  My parents didn't care about any of my school achievements, but didn't miss a single soccer game of my sisters.  When the time came to go to college, I rejected my dream school in favor of a state school where I had a full national merit scholarship because my parents had spent all the college funds on a mercedes benz and a luxury trip to Europe.  Really.

This all worked out fine, and I got into a prestigious grad school, racked up a million loans, and finally have a great career.  I met my husband, who is wonderful, and we finally had our first child.  We both have terrific jobs, live in a gorgeous house, and have wonderful lives.  However, my parents have done their best to screw everything up at every single juncture.

When I graduated from grad school, my parents had a falling out with my aunt.  My aunt had been super kind to me, and when I was briefly jobless, had really stuck her neck out to get me a job.  I ended up getting a job on my own, but she had always been there for me (she lived in the same town where I went to school), driving by with food, offers of help, etc.  She ALWAYS was there for me, even helping me during an abusive relationship while my parents opted instead to go on a second luxury vacation to Europe (raiding my other sister's college fund).

The source of my parent's fight was that my aunt sided with her brother in a dispute with my dad.  My aunt didn't do anything directly.  I should also mention that my dad called her a bigtime whore.  He disputes this.

Because of this fight, my parents have done the following:
My dad ruined my wedding, making an enormous scene.  He left me waiting at the alter to change his shirt because he didn't want to look sweaty.  We had to pay thousands in fees as he delayed the wedding an hour plus.
My mom refused to help me plan my wedding because I invited my aunt.  They never gave me a wedding gift.  They never offered to pay for our wedding, but criticized it heavily as being too cheap and informal.  THey also showed up with a list of guests and were angry when we couldn't afford to invite them (did I mention my zillions of loans?). 
My dad called me on my honeymoon night to say he didn't love me anymore, he was tearing up my baby photos, and my aunt was my true mother now since my parents were rejecting me.
My mom begged me to apologize to my dad the next day, which I am ashamed to say I did.  I will always regret this.
I had a miscarriage, my dad and mom called to say it was my fault.
I got sued because they forged my signature on some documents during my miscarriage.  My dad and mom didn't speak to me for months because of my "angry tone" when I found out.
my mom broke into my email account, did a search for my aunt's name, forwarded all the emails she found to herself.
my dad threw a fit when i refused him entry into the labor and delivery ward when I finally had my daughter.
my mom sided with my dad and said he'd never forgive me (UM I DON'T WANT MY DAD TO SEE MY VAGINA!)
My mom has frequently called me to scream at me when she's angry at my aunt
they ruined my graduation, blaming my aunt for their foul mood, and me because I refused to stop seeing her.
they allowed my sister to cut my husband out of all her wedding photos- and insisted he not participate in the family shots - because he is nice to my aunt.
they talk about us behind our backs, VICIOUSLY.  They constantly call us cheap (because we have savings and don't go into debt to flaunt imaginary wealth), ugly (whatever), and pathetic.

I still talk to them, but not really.  No one has ever apologized to me for anything, and they think that I've wronged them by insisting they ruined my wedding, graduation, etc.  I finally screamed at my mom when she sent me a nasty email trashing my aunt, where she was blaming me and calling me a traitor.  I told her she was yelling at the WRONG PERSON.  She continues to trash me to my sisters.  My dad I speak to occasionally, basically so our daughter will know them.

I am not like angry on a daily basis, but it hurts to know they don't love me and love my sisters. Am I in the wrong for not disowning my aunt when they got into their tiff?  I am at a bit of a loss here - but this has gone on for 10 years.  I kind of want to cut them out of my life but I can't seem to be able to do that.  Help?

Sorry for such a long missive.

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