Reply to DH doesn't include me in decisions that affect us as a family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]you are also part of his family now and you want to be treated that way.  [/quote]

This is exactly how I feel.  I feel powerless, excluded, and unimportant . . . but I also feel like he doesn't see me as "family" in the same way as he sees his extended family.  I keep telling him that we are family now, but I don't see him treating me that way.  Hence, I don't think he has transitioned emotionally from "him" to "us."  I don't want to be a doormat -- and I don't want his extended family drama to hijack our lives forever.

I will try another approach (since telling him what he has to do really only gets his back up), but he inevitably says that he would do the same for my family, that he has to help, that there are no other options, that I just don't understand (because he believes -- perhaps rightly -- that my family is better off financially and otherwise than his).  I tell him that we may very well reach the same conclusion, but that I want to be included in the decision-making.  The truth is, I want to be able to say "yes" or "no," not just be consulted.  I want to share in the decision-making, I want us to be partners.  He gives lip service to this, but then does the same thing over again.  Literally, we just fought about $ last week and he said that we would make decisions together.  Then he dropped the bomb last night.

Even if we "talk" again, I am not confident that it will change things.  I want to "do" something, but I don't know what. [/quote]

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