Reply to Out of Town In-Laws Want DS Alone for 12 Days

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Out of Town In-Laws Want DS Alone for 12 Days"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Be sure to ask your attorney very clearly if your soon-to-be-ex-husband can send your son to his parents' home this far away without your approval. It's possible that sometime when dad has your son, he could decide to send son to his parents because it's on "his time" even if dad does not accompany him. The problem is that it may be just fine for dad to do that on "his time" once the divorce is final and custody is set. If you still are in charge of your son -- if dad must have your OK right now -- I would withhold it. This trip sounds like a dreadful idea, far too long for a child this age to be in a new place without either parent.

I really would talk to the lawyer about this and express a concern about the distance, the huge amount of time, and your child's age. Also, this may be an issue for a court-appointed meditator to handle rather than attorneys, in the end. I would make the argument to a mediator (because your ex is not going to listen to you here!) that a stay like this would not be in the best interest of your son's mental and emotional health because, with the upheaval your son will already experience from a divorce, the uncertainty of a new place for so long will make your little boy very insecure; he's going to wonder if he really will get to come home, no matter how many times he's told that he will indeed get to go  home. And he will believe that you are OK with his being sent away. Getting a counselor for your son, one who specializes in very young children and divorce, could help your case -- you might be able to have a counselor say on your behalf that such a trip would be a very poor idea for your son's sake. Make it about your son because the ex and the in-laws are going to try to make it about you being controlling etc.

Wow, I feel terrible for you. But rest assured you are right. Even the best-adjusted, happiest kid this age, with zero difficulties at home, and no divorce going on around him, would find 12 days or more just too long to be away from home and away from both parents. When it's a child who is already probably  picking up on the fact things are changing at home, such a stay is only going to mean a TON of work reassuring him when he returns. You may be unable to stop this kind of thing once you are finally divorced but if you have any control right now, I'd say no way.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics