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[quote=Anonymous]My sister is a very mean person (her DH too). We just visited her family and I come away from every visit feeling depressed about what I witnessed and experienced. I'll try to keep this short. She is a racist (hates blacks, won't even let her children watch certain TV shows if they have black characters), she's cruel to her step-daughter, and she is extremely, extremely firm and strict with her 1 and 3 YO DSs. Some examples: Older DS was yanked very roughly by the arm, yelled at, and forced to apologize ("Say you're sorry! SAY YOU'RE SORRY!") for the "offense" of wetting the bed. Another example: older DS climbed into the bouncy chair of his younger brother and was severely scolded, and then taken to another room by his dad where, presumably, he was scolded more because we heard him sobbing in there. The children are forced to say "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to their parents, and are scolded at when they forget. They (my sister and her family) are very wealthy and live in a beautiful home that is, unfortunately, very uncomfortable to be in because heaven forbid if you spill something. Also, they don't allow their DSs to climb on the stairs. We (DH and I) allow our DDs (ages 2 and 4) to go up and down stairs freely. My older DD happily and unknowingly began climbing the stairs at one point and my BIL yelled "NO, get down off the stairs...[DD's name], get off the stairs!" at her so sternly that she immediately began to cry. She was reduced to tears 3 other times during our one-night visit for similarly minor (IMO) "offenses." I understand that when we're in their house, we need to respect and abide by their rules (e.g., no climbing stairs), but I don't want them yelling at my children.

Now, I know an obvious solution would be to just not visit them. I am tempted to go this route, but the issue is that I love my nephews and niece so much, and I want to have a relationship with them (and I want my DDs to have one, too). I just don't know how to handle the uneasiness I feel when I see my sister and her DH mistreating (in my opinion, abusing) their children right in front of us. For the 2 days we were there, my older nephew clung to me constantly. At one point, he and I were upstairs alone and playing and when his father came up, he said "No dad, no dad, you go back downstairs." (Of course, he was disciplined for that, and forced to apologize). Also, my sister told me that when she and her DH went on a trip recently for a week without their kids (my mother flew in and took care of them), when they walked in the door after a week of being away, the first thing older DS said was "no, no, no..you guys go back, go back [to where they had been]...i stay here with grandma.'

This post is turning out to be longer than I intended, so I will stop here. Is anyone in a similar situation, and how do you handle it?[/quote]

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