Reply to SIL hates me

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "SIL hates me"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I foresee a very unhappy rest of your lives if at least one of you -- and I'm guessing here it has to be you, since you posted and she didn't -- learns to stop keeping score.

You kept score over the bridal shower: You spent $600, her sister spent a mere $50, but you weren't gushingly thanked. That's keeping score. (and for all you know she had some reason to gush about her sister's gift -- they may be competitive, she may need to placate her sister, whatever. Why do you care so much?)

She had to know the size of your ring and she insisted on a larger one. That's keeping score on her part.

Looks like you have a lot of score-keeping ahead of you IF you choose to participate in it.

Unless SIL was a friend of yours before the marriage, and your friendship is now deteriorating based on these supposed insults she's given you, why are you so invested in her reactions? She's not a friend, and unless you are forced to see and interact with her all the time, just let it all go. When you do see her, keep the conversation neutral, and if she asks questions about what you have and what you can afford, switch the subject. It is crass of her to focus on your ring or what house you can afford, but it's also frankly silly for you to worry this much about her. Unless you and your brother are super-close and she's going to be in your face very frequently -- forget about it.

You cannot change her; you can only control your own reactions to her. Why choose to be angry and offended? Choose to laugh at her materialism. And choose never, ever to keep score. When you give a gift expect nothing in return in thanks or gifts and you'll be fine. Give only what you really want to give, not what culture or custom dictates. Treat her well, thank her for things, and don't share information. Move on.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics