Reply to 13-year-old lies about homework - something deeper? need advice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks, I will look into these points.  I didn't realize that JR is pro-spanking.  Ick!!!

I'm beginning to think that as a 13 yr old my son wants and deserves more control of his life without us dictating with a lot of shoulds.  Maybe he's bright but doesn't fit in a mold.  Maybe he'll fail school but become an artist or work with homeless or at a 7-11.  Who are we to dictate his life.  That's kind of the direction I'm going, with the recognition that if he finds all these ways to avoid homework, maybe he's trying to tell us something about what HE wants.  We should support and help but ultimately he has to decide whether he wants to succeed in school.[/quote]

He reminds me a lot of my brother. My parents finally let him do his thing and he made it through school in an alternative program, made a mess of his life for the next 7 years, but it now on the right track. He needed to try a handful of things before he knew what he was really interested in. For awhile he was going to be a photographer, then a soldier, then a craft brewer, then a recreation specialist at a camp. Now he's moving back home to go to school for nonprofit management. It's still kind of a mess, but he is happier and getting by. I am the high achiever in the family and my personality just took what my parents were pushing. Let him go and find himself.[/quote]

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