Reply to similar situation but not with ILs, with own mother

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[quote=Anonymous]Set the boundaries now, OP. If you don't, you'll stress each time a situation comes up, and you'll wish you'd done it earlier. Yes, the fallout will be harsh but that'll be the case if you do it now or 4 years from now.

If I were you, next time your mother mentioned traveling, I'd look at her confused and say, "Do you mean you want us, with the baby to travel to India with you in October?" let her say yes, and then I'd LAUGH IN HER FACE and say "Oh. No, we're not traveling out of the country for a while after the baby's born. But you have a great time!"

If she started yelling or asking why or whatever, "Mom! I know this may blow your mind, but I AM an adult, and DH and I ARE actually in charge of Baby, and we're not traveling so soon after she was born. The relatives can see her when she's older."

If she tried to manipulate by convincing the relatives to come visit here and showed up on my doorstep, I'd tlel them, "Oh Aunt Larla I'm SO SORRY! My mother never told me you were coming to DC/the US - if she had I'd have made sure to have sent you the info on some great hotels because we're not hosting people right now. Why don't you come in and have some tea, and DH and I will help you find a hotel - do you want to borrow my phone to call my mom?"

I wouldn't care if the relatives think I'm a bitch, if my mother says I've embarrassed her to the family, etc. Don't mess with me - I WILL mess with you back. [/quote]

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