Reply to similar situation but not with ILs, with own mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I assume this is the first grandchild?

I agree with setting boundaries.  BUT - I also think you have to recognize her genuine excitement.

Like PP said, maybe make a plan in which she comes when the baby is born and stays for a day or two.  Then she can come back for a longer visit (3-4 days) after you've had maybe 2 weeks to get settled at home.

We found that our limit, in the first 2 months, was a 5-day visit from my parents.  Anything longer would have been brutal.  Luckily, when DD#2 came along, they could only work out a 3-day visit.  :-)[/quote]

OP here. Yes, it's the first. I'm thrilled she's so excited but I know she can be very controlling and is capable of undermining me and playing manipulation games to get her way as she's done it all my life. My grandmother, her own mother, used to have to tell her to cool it and let her kids live their own lives and make their own mistakes. My mother hasn't even said how long she plans on staying and I'm a little concerned it's for more than a few days because both of my parents are retired and neither has any interests or hobbies to occupy them.  I'm hoping that the hot summer weather here proves to be too much for them and they want to leave asap. I think she's also expecting us to travel to visit them not long after the baby is born and well before I'm going to be comfortable taking a long trip with a newborn who hasn't received at least some of the vaccines. She's already been talking about when the baby visits them in the fall. I'm like, huh? [u][b]That's my call as the mother[/b][/u]. [/quote]

Repeat this, both to yourself and to her, as often as necessary.[/quote]

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