Reply to similar situation but not with ILs, with own mother

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[quote=Anonymous]I absolutely think it's appropriate to lay boundaries now, whether it's your own parents or DH's.

We told my parents that we wanted 2wks by ourselves with our newborn before we would entertain houseguests.  "Mom & Dad, we know you're excited and know that our baby will be loved.  It's very important to us that we have the first two weeks as a family unit to bond and figure stuff out. You're welcome to come by the house for a few hours if you want to come to town, but we aren't prepared to have you or anyone in the house for extended periods of time right after DC's birth."  They did travel and come to the hospital the day that DD was born and then left, returning 2wks later.

If she insists on being at a hotel, you can decide how often and for how long you want her in your house.  2hrs/day - enough to hold the baby while you take a nap and then do a load of laundry or make your dinner before leaving.  If they won't leave, you can very politely say "Mom, thanks for your help today.  I think I'm going to take DC to my room to nurse/cuddle/whatever.  We'll see you tomorrow."

My relationship with my parents was always kind of strained, but by setting limits early, our relationship has actually improved as a result of our child.
You can be forceful but kind.[/quote]

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