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Family Relationships
Reply to "similar situation but not with ILs, with own mother"
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[quote=Anonymous]My mother has been doing/saying a lot of things that demonstrate she is going to be an ever-present force during the first few weeks immediately following the birth of my and DH's child. First, she has never asked me about how the baby or "our baby" is doing-- it's all about "my grandchild." Even my own siblings have noticed her overuse of this, as if I'm just a vessel holding her grandchild and the child will be forked over to her upon birth. DH even confessed he's getting a little tired of hearing this every time they visit-- um, we are the parents after all (for the record, his parents DO NOT talk this way). FWIW, she's always been very big on family titles, reminding me and my siblings that she's our mother and reminding DH that she's his MIL and we're family now (I think he cringes when he hears this-- all she needs is the rolling pin over his head at this point). Also, she is making plans to be present days in advance of the baby's due date. She hasn't even asked once what would work best for me and DH as it's our first child and most likely to be a very emotional time. I've reminded her countless times that it's best that we call her after the baby is born but she just ignores this and says she's making plans and will be there. For all we know the baby will come a week early or a week late and she'll be out $1000 for a hotel. They live a few hours away and can easily visit after the baby is born and we're all settled in, healthy, doing well and breastfeeding. I've decided that it may be best not even to tell her when I'm in labor and just let her sit it out even if she's already here in town. I'm afraid that's going to cause a lot of grief especially if they are here in town, but I also feel like I have no choice but to remind her that the birth of OUR CHILD is first and foremost for THE PARENTS. [/quote]
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