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[quote=SarahandtheAteam][quote=Anonymous]00:10 Was the bio parent living?

OP, I cannot imagine moving forward without a lawyer. Doesn't your husband pay auto mechanics, doctors, accountants for their expertise? Do you have a will? Did you do that yourselves?

Is he even on board with the adoption? If so, why DIY?

What if the bio father decides to assert his parental rights? For all you know it could work in his favor.[/quote]

OP here, i'm not logged in. Husband is absolutely on board with the adoption- it is something he brought up once we started discussing a wedding. If something were to happen to me, he doesn't want son taken from him- he's been the only father my son has known, we met when son was 6 months old. son is now 7. so yes, he definitely wants to adopt him. he's just convinced we can do it ourselves.

bio father has been completely absent from before day 1 and is in jail for allegedly molesting a 3 year old. we looked up all the reports from the sheriffs office and such online- hes being held without bond because he confessed.  has has recanted saying he was bullied into confessing. He's got at least 2 other children (that i did not know about prior to my whole situation with him, we found it out doing research on him) that he pays spotty child support to, i think only because he's had his veterans benefits garnished.

I know there is a chance we'll get a judge who says "well, this man still deserves a chance to be a father!" even though his history is complete crap. there is definitely the chance bio father will suddenly have a change of heart and use this paternity situation as a means to make him look good in his other situation (being in jail) in an attempt to show he's had a 'change of heart' or whatever.

Is there truly a risk of my son being taken away?  he has no idea who his bio father is. If bio father showed up today, my son would have no idea who he is or what he wants. I have explained to him (because my husband and i got married last year and son still has my maiden name, while i have my married name and kept my maiden name as a second milddle name) the reason why our names are different for right now.

i know i'm being a bit difficult but i need to be able to show my husband the reality of what specifically could happen if we do this ourselves. I do really appreciate all of your responses, i truly do. Thank you for taking the time for me. [/quote]

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