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[quote=Anonymous]I am 16 weeks pregnant and yes, it's hard. Cousins of ours lost one 2 months ago at 18 weeks. And everything seemed perfect, she said; it was a total shock. Another couple I know had a stillborn baby at 40 weeks. She was 39 (I'm 40).

With my first, I never stopped feeling nervous. I remember feeling marginally less nervous with each milestone. We saw the heartbeat with u/s at 8 weeks, i knew my risks went down. We heard the heartbeat with doppler at 12 weeks, risks go down again. First tri, brought more relief. 20 week scan showed a little quirk with my uterus that doc was reassuring about, but my nervousness skyrocketed. Then as the weeks went on and baby looked good on all subsequent u/s's, more and more relief. I remember feeling a slight relief at 24 weeks - some babies make it at this point. 28 weeks? Universally deemed "viability." I felt a big bit of relief.

Boy, OP, am I ever familiar with that damn WaPo article. It came out 4 days or so before my due date with number 1. And yeah, haunted me. I went into the hospital early in labor because I had a ton of bleeding. Boy was I scared that "it was happening."

Along the way, I realized that at each step, I was giving myself less and less permission to love the little creature that was growing inside of me. And between that pregnancy and this one I made myself consider this: yes, miscarriage is very common. 1 in 4 women will experience it, they say. and yet, you'd think the way we worry, it was the other way around. There is a 3 out of 4 chance, even from the beginning, that your baby will make it. Get through that scary first trimester and the realistic chances are like 50 - 1 that baby will be fine. Get to birth and it's more like 200+ to 1, and I'm not sure those statistics are completely clear, not sure how many instances of something going very wrong, unassisted childbirth, unplanned homebirth, etc, that are in those statistics and to be honest, I haven't tried to tease those numbers out because I don't want to arm myself with yet ANOTHER troubling statistic that will float through my head.

With this one, I'm older. By any standard, my risks have gone UP. But I just can't bring myself to worry as much. Whatever happens is going to happen. We can't change what's written in the cards, we just have to meet each days and its joys and risk of heartbreak as it comes.

OP, if you had a fall, call your provider, especially if your stomach is hurting. Very likely that all is well, but this merits a call. [/quote]

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