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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 13 year old son has been invited to his friends Bar Mitzvah.  I have no experience with these.  What kind of gift is appropriate?  Is there anything I should let my son know, like what to expect, proper etiqutte, etc? 
Should he dress up and if so how dressy?  Does he needs slacks and a button up or would khakis and a polo shirt be OK?

Also, the invite gives a location and then gives another location for the reception that is to follow. Should I assume that transportation to the reception is being taken care of by the parents of the boy?  I'm assuming there will be other friends of his attending like my son, without their parents.

Thanks in advance![/quote]

Gift: multiples of $18 is appropriate. $36 (in the form of a check) is just fine. Do not buy a football or Amazon gift card. This is money that will go towards college or a car or something big and adult in the future. The child will not be spending the money now. 18 is a significant number in the Jewish religion. Your son can give the card (with the check inside) either to his friend or his friend's parent, but should not just toss it on a table - that's how gifts get lost. 
Proper etiquette: Tell your son that he should follow the lead of others who seem to know what they're doing and not the lead of his class clown friend, and he'll be fine. All the usual party stuff applies - he should thank the parents for inviting him, but he should also say, "Mazel tov " to the bar mitzvah boy (it means congratulations in Hebrew). 
Transportation: No, you should NOT assume transportation is being taken care of - you should call the mom and ask if it is or if she needs help car-pooling. Generally relatives of the bar mitzvah child will be happy to take random friends who don't have a ride, but it's rude to count on that.
Dress code: He should wear slacks and a button-up. For me, even that wouldn't be appropriate  and dressy enough. When my son walks into a temple, he wears a suit. He can take off the jacket and tie at the reception if he wants, but must be respectful in a House of Worship of any kind. Consider that the bar mitzvah boy will be in a suit. [/quote]

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