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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, yes that was me.

My donor's karyotyping is delayed another week (lab backed up) which doesn't really matter since I don't have a period yet.

I was angry but today I matter-of-factly told my nurse that if the donor comes back with a translocation I hope that Shady Grove would reconsider and test donors--the cost is well worth passing on and if it even prevents one miscarraige a year it's worth it.

I know it is my decision.  Just feels like what started out as a joyful journey, is now disappointing people.  I just had a talk with my BFF and she admitted she was very worried about me but that she doesn't think it means I have to stop trying.

We agreed that I have to harden my heart.  My point of joy was the heartbeat last time--it will be much later than that next time.

There is no way to prevent any pain of loss, but since I have to try again, I have to know I will survive if it does happen again.

Women have survived more than two miscarriages.  I find it hard to believe that I'm weak.  This one was so shocking and a DE miscarriage is almost worse because of the promise "I'm done, finally".  I've found similar reactions as mine on boards where people were posting about DE miscarriage.

I can't stop until I'm ready to accept a child-free life--since there is no guarantee with adoption either.[/quote]

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