Reply to Starting to Think My DW is Unemployable

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Two observations:  (1) being in Asia for four years for your job seems like a death blow to her career, esp. in this economy.  Her anger at you for that fact (or circumstance) appears to be coming out in her verbal abuse.  Yes, I think you need to counseling for that.  But you need to own up to the fact that you have, indeed, played a role in the death of her career.

(2) She can't possibly run around 24/7 working on her job search.  Some days are reasonably going to be spent on other things, including organizing her shoes, cleaning, reading novels, and really doing whatever the hell she pleases.  You're not her father and you're not the unemployment police.  Time to get off her back.[/quote]

I took the position in Asia st her urging snd encouragement.  I was perfectly happy to stay where I was previously.  As to point number 2, I do not even involve myself at all in her job search.  [b]I don't ride her ass about it, but I don't think I need to bite my tongue as I do ehrn she comes back from a failed interview or whatever and dumps everything - all of the blame on me - when I see her doing things that actually sabotage her career prospects.  I don't need to go into the details, but let's just say she got herself entangled with the criminal justice system through her own actions, and this record has come up in her employment search and led employers to look askance at her. I may have contributed to the "death of her career" as a PP put it, but she most probably killed it and that is her fault.[/b][/quote]

I echo everything the other pps have to add here, but I would add that there is a lot going on here you didn't tell us about and you also appear to resent your wife... a lot.  If you want to make this work, get counseling and completely keep your mouth shut about her work issues.  Don't "help," don't say anything if she self-sabotages, etc.  The only time you should mention it is if you personally find her a job/internship.  I have been through this op and that was the working strategy.  You seem to want us to say "oh, she's abusing you, divorce her."  If that's what you want to do, go ahead.  It certainly won't make things easier for you.  You don't need the permission of strangers on the internet to get a divorce.[/quote]

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