Reply to Starting to Think My DW is Unemployable

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Two observations:  (1) being in Asia for four years for your job seems like a death blow to her career, esp. in this economy.  Her anger at you for that fact (or circumstance) appears to be coming out in her verbal abuse.  Yes, I think you need to counseling for that.  But you need to own up to the fact that you have, indeed, played a role in the death of her career.

(2) She can't possibly run around 24/7 working on her job search.  Some days are reasonably going to be spent on other things, including organizing her shoes, cleaning, reading novels, and really doing whatever the hell she pleases.  You're not her father and you're not the unemployment police.  Time to get off her back.[/quote]

I often refer to myself as unemployable.  It is only partly a joke.  We were overseas for years for DH's job and I became the trailing spouse.  When the whirlwind started, we had a very frank conversation that I might never have a "good" job again.  He makes 5x my peak, so it isn't about the money, but sometimes I really struggle with the the different path my life has taken.  Being back in DC makes me feel like an unaccomplished POS sometimes, whereas in an expat community, a lot of people have the same story.

I've thrown myself into volunteer work.  It isn't even about getting a toehold, it is about feeling productive and getting out with other people.  I highly recommend it.  It might never turn into a job, but orgs need good volunteers who had a professional life once upon a time.

But if she gave up her job to be a trailing spouse, OP definitely played a role and that frustration is likely coming out.  You need to get on the same team.[/quote]

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