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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She makes comments to me that if I don't deliver on my main deliverable the whole team will lose their jobs so it's all on me.  So, I feel like I can't leave with that pressure, but I am so miserable that I want to leave.  I literally cry every morning before going to work.  On top of this, they never implemented my salary (a substantial amount) I got over maternity leave and don't want to do anything about it (even though I have reached out to HR and mgr multiple times).

Is it worth it?  If I leave, I feel like I risk burning bridges and it will definitely be a painful exit as I just came back onboard.

[/quote]

I agree with the previous poster to keep it professional and document everything while you hedge your bets by looking for another job.

I would also highlight the pressure that everyone will lose their jobs if you don't deliver on the main deliverable.  You may be able to use this to get her to be more reasonable.  There is obviously a time delay in getting the information you need if you always have to go thru her with the client.  You need to address these delays and what impact it has on getting your job done and come up with a workable solution.  It could be that the client only wants to deal with one person and not have questions coming from 5 different people, or could be that she is afraid you will have conversations with details or promises to the client and she will look foolish if she doesn't know about them, it could be that for something new to a client she wants to make sure you works with them first.  Bottom line though is you have to say the impact and open the floor to finding a compromise that resolves your problem, maybe it is a daily meeting with you, the PM, and the client.

I am very sensitive to how withholding information you need or having someone as bottleneck to information you need to do your job can set you up to fail.  I've since learned the only way out of that is to be very upfront to management that you need this information by X date(with enough time to do something about it, not the last minute) in order to meet your deadline, follow-up constantly and be prepared to report on if you've followed up, don't be afraid to escalate i.e. you know in the project management meeting when they ask "is there anything else" that you say "I'm concerned that we haven't gotten the vendor answers on XYZ and deliverable A is due in two weeks".  Don't ambush your manager by this being the first time you mention it but if this is a project meeting with his/her manager, your manager will have to publicly commit to getting that information for you, let you take the lead and contact the person for that information, or discuss that your group needs a plan b because you likely aren't going to get that info/ responsiveness and you help shape the discussion on what risk you take going forward without the input and you get everyone's public blessing (which you document in a follow-up email) to go forward anyway.

Usually if there is going to be a big impact, management will look to your PM to handle it and in the next meeting will ask the outcome.  Just make sure you are on your Ps and Qs with follow-up, communicating status and any issues, being as proactive as possible given time constraints when going to someone with an issue problem (I.e. not like you are just dropping this in their lap and not taking any ownership), and actually delivering when given the information you asked for.  Yes, it's a lot of work. Yes, you have to figure out how to make yourself sound so reasonable that by not giving you what you need to do your job (which you would think was freakin obvious) the other person appears to be unreasonable.  Yes, you need to do all of this in a pleasant upbeat, helpful, professional manner and not appear to be a complainer or a whiner even when dealing with crazy and irrational.  Remember in sports, they rarely call the person that got in the low blow, they call unsportsmanlike conduct on the other person's reaction to it.

Even if you end up someplace else, it's not a bad skill to know how to deal with the less than ideal manager, co-worker, or client and the best teacher is experience.  Don't feel you have to stick it out, no one is writing on your tombstone "and she outlasted the irrational boss at Acme Inc" but don't feel you have to leave and there isn't something you can either salvage or learn from the situation.  I like to believe things work out they way they are meant to work out.  I feel like every job I've learned something and I've been fortunate that just at the time when I decided to move on, there was a job that gave me something different and what I needed at that time.

Good luck.[/quote]

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