Reply to Help Me Learn How to Not Come Off As Abrasive

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[quote=Anonymous]Here is what I did to soften my abrasive image.

1.  Talk to people.  Smile and say hello or good morning before I launch into what I need.  If you walk up to anyone, but especially a secretary or someone in a clerical position or otherwise a support position, and overhear them sharing good news -- a birthday, a new baby, someone getting married -- engage them.  "I couldn't help overhear.  Did your daughter have a baby?  Wow!  Congratulations!  I love babies."  Know "your" people and ask about them.  Express your joy for them.  If you are told someone is out of work because of a death in their family when you see them next tell them privately I heard that you experienced a loss in your family.  I am so sorry to hear of it.  I genuinely care about new babies, graduations, weddings, etc for "my" people.  If you care about flexible schedules -- go to bat for it for yourself and others.  If you want your organization to do more outreach ask people for their help -- Mary Ellen, I know you live in Maryland.  I live in Virginia so I am a bit behind the 8 ball as it is.  I want to propose that our department collect school supplies for a school with kids whose families maybe can't afford all their supplies.  The big boss lives in Potomac -- they don't need our help -- but I thought if I proposed this project in MD she might be more on board with me.  Can I take you to lunch an pick your brain about some MD elementary schools?

2.  Use your abrasive side to your advantage.  When my former boss tried to come down on the support staff over some dumb issue, I blasted him publicly and in front of them.  He was the kind of guy that only listens to you if you are more abrasive than him.  He actually thanked me for preventing him from causing a big rift and the support staff practically built an altar to me.  So find ways that you can make it work for you.

3.  Go to lunch.  Go out of the office and sit somewhere with a mixed group of people.  Eat lunch together and talk about not work.  It is amazing how this really helps.

4.  Really, as much as it sucks, smile.  Practice smiling.  [/quote]

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