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[quote=Anonymous]Gosh, OP, I hear you.  I was up at 2:00 a.m. thinking about my sister and what to do.  I have used some of my counseling sessions to deal with her.  My sister is older than me also, and always saw me as someone she mothered and was "hers" to watch over, and more improtantly, to CONTROL.  When I was a kid, I went along some, and not other times.  When I didn't, that is when we had fights.  As adults, we have always lived in separate states.  You are right, that has helped.  She still put in her advice, but ultimately, we didn't live close enough for her to be too involved.  I gave her advice too, but when she asked for it.

In the last few years, I have had an awful time in life - husband laid off multiple times, financial issues, moving to have a job, marriage problems, and the biggy - a severe illness no one could diagnose which rendered me barely functional, but having to work anyway.  It lasted for 2 years.  All I did was barely work, see specialists, and do tons of tests/scans/etc.  They recognized I was very sick, just took a while to find.  It was very hard for her to hear about.  She got very controlling and after only 3 months of the illness, she insisted that I stop seeing all doctors and decide that is just how I was going to live the rest of my life.  She was sure that was the answer.  I was  having vomiting/diarrhea daily, passing out/dizzy, nauseated 24/7, literally starving, among other things.  I explained that it was not possible to live that way forever.  She still believed her advice was right, period.  I kept pursuing a diagnosis, and eventually they found a benign tumor that was responsible for it all.  I got it out and - poof - I was better!

Even while I was still sick, she told me she wasn't going to call me anymore, but that I could call her, and proceded to be very distant and unresponsive when I did call her.  It is like having a conversation with a piece of toast.  That continues to this day, almost 2 years later from when she started this "punishment".  I say that because that is what it is - punishment for me not listening to her about giving up on doctors.  She actually said then that she realizes she needed to "let me go" because I am in my 40's so she guesses I am grown up!  Um, yeah!  However, she didn't make peace with it, she just started this punishment phase.  I can only imagine that the fact that I actually had a tumor and it was right to keep looking just makes her more resentful, since tha means she was wrong.  Everyone gave you great advice here.  That is what I would do and have done when I dealt with her more.  Now I am wondering if our relationship will even survive.[/quote]

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