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[quote=Anonymous]I have a very close relationship with my brothers, nothing like what you describe. My brothers and I like to host each other and no one would ever ask for gas money. I have one brother in grad school, though, and I do make a point of paying for gas and food and generally trying to help him out a little even if he is the host. That is just family looking out for each other, right?

I think you may have come across as immature to the one PP because it feels odd to those of us with very close relationships with siblings to air this sort of concern on a public forum. People air things that are even more intimate, of course, but this sort of tension when articulated in detail can come across as petty. I am not saying that it is petty or that you are at fault--I truly sympathize and think it must be very painful for you.

The only advice I can say is to talk to him straightforwardly, however that works in your family--maybe your mother can help? Maybe he doesn't realize how he comes off or how much he was excluding the others or maybe he will take the opportunity to explain his feelings. But if it doesn't work to be direct, honestly I would back off, assume you can't change him, and make sure I protect my kids'feelings. You can still be caring and kind but there is no need to make your kids vulnerable to his actions.[/quote]

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