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[quote=Anonymous]Just create distance in the relationship.  If you belong to other clubs/activities that you enjoy, make sure that she realizes that you are going to do these things on your own schedule and that they are non-negotiable for you.  If you have parents coming to town and she picks a time to eat that is inconvenient, just tell her that you are busy and you will meet them back at your sister's house after dinner when it is convenient.  If she points you toward a certain kind of housing, thank her for the suggestions and tell her that you will keep those places in mind as you balance all of your considerations around where to live.

I have not had this problem with my sister, but we did have it with my in-laws and it took a few years of being stubborn and very clear that we were interested in their opinions but after we heard them we would make our own decision and inform them what it was.  After a while, they did stop trying to micromanage our lives because it just didn't work.  We didn't respond in the way that they expected, so they stopped trying.  We are still close to them because we were always friendly and pleasant, but some people just need a little extra time and help in learning how to interact with adult children (and this is sort of how your sister sees you.) Not everyone is able to make this transition seamlessly. Your BF can be helpful here because, while you may feel some tension over pulling away from your sister, he likely doesn't feel the same tension and can be the heavy when you need him to be.

Just stick to your guns and you will be able to redefine your relationship dynamic on your own, adult terms in time.  Just don't expect things to change overnight. [/quote]

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