Reply to How do I salvage respect?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How do I salvage respect?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]What does he mean by you don't respect his time?

He needs to treat a job search like a full time job, or close to it. Make a goal of sending out 20 resumes a week (or whatever). Get additional job training if necessary.

If he's not willing to do that, then yes, he needs to act like a SAHD and do some heavy lifting on house chores when the kids are in school/daycare.

He doesn't have to be perfect at either choice. Nobody is. But he needs to be actively engaged in doing something.

Is he depressed? If not, there really isn't a good reason for doing nothing. Now, how to get him there. I had a live in boyfriend like that. Did the bare minimum and whined like hell if I asked for more. I was even paying his cell phone because he was transitioning back to full time college. If you treat them like kids, they act like kids. You seem to be doing everything for him. He has no motivation to do anything.

You really need to find out what he's doing all day. Stop by for lunch unecpectly or something.

Personally I'd start a discussion about family finances. About possibly cutting daycare to save money. Cable. Cell phones. Who's buying him clothes, food, entertainment? Stop the extras if you haven't already. Don't make it easy for him to stay home and do nothing.

Don't engage in an argument. Stay calm. When he protests asks him for his proposed solutions to the problems. What does he suggest?  If its reasonable, try it.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics