Reply to Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore

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Reply to "Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think opening with "we would like to talk with you guys about how your lives are changing as you age. what do YOU see going on that worries you? what can WE do to help you?" is a good idea.

After my grandfather said several times, "That car came out of nowhere!" I used that as a springboard to discuss how maybe his vision wasn't as good as it'd been in the past, and he stopped driving at night.

Old people HATE losing their independence. They've lived for so long, and have so many decades of love and knowledge to share and especially in this country, we throw old people away and they're terrified of that.

If you can, say, "We're no longer comfortable having you drive Larla and Aidan back to your house for sleepovers. I know they love being with you each Friday night, and it seems like you enjoy that time also. Would you like to continue the sleepovers? Dan and I are happy to drive the kids over at 6pm on Fridays and pick them up at 10am Saturday mornings. Does that work for you?"

Let them know how you'll replace what's being taken away. [/quote]

Thanks for this. The second part of your post is exactly what I was envisioning as far as the logistics and still allowing sleepovers. They usually go to dinner with her first, which I know they love and so does my dd, so maybe I'll offer to bring over take out or something.

I still don't know how to approach it. I don't see your intro working with them (my parents, maybe).

Is it a bad idea to, at least initially, put some of the blame on me being overly neurotic? Would that take some sting out or would that be transparent and cowardly? Ok, never mind--don't answer that. Of course it would. But it would be easier. [/quote]

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