Reply to If you grew up poor, do you wish your kids did too?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think it's good that you're thinking about these things, and I trust that you'll raise your child to be appreciative.

I grew up with parents who were *constantly* stressed about money, being able to pay bills.  Even though I appreciate that that experience has made me prudent with money and grateful for a stable financial situation, the anxiety I experienced as a child has affected me for life.

So while I wouldn't want my child to be spoiled (I don't have kids yet), I also wouldn't want my child to grow up with the kind of daily anxiety that I experienced (my father was always facing layoffs, et cetera).

There's a huge difference between being raised to be grateful and being raised in such a way that you develop an almost debilitating type of anxiety, the kind that means no matter how much stability you achieve, you will never feel at ease.

Your child will be fine, because it seems like you value those characteristics.  I think it's possible for children of middle class parents to grow up modest and humble if their parents promote those values.

That said, I have a friend who grew up poor and whose husband grew up even poorer, and even though they constantly talk about it and remind their child, they still live in a house that is WAY bigger than a 3-person family needs and they buy their child all kinds of things, pay for lessons of all sorts, pay for private school (in a good public school district), et cetera.  And they wonder why their now pre-teen seems ungrateful.

So I would suggest that in addition to not spoiling your child, perhaps making sure that your child interacts with other children of all classes, that might help as well.  Consider public school as well.  [/quote]

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