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[quote=Anonymous]I hope she will like me. I am controlling and have a hard time hiding my opinion about things. I've had a lot of practice with my much younger siblings fiancee, who I think at first thought I was pushy about breastfeeding (I was trying to help her, turns out it was really idiotic of me). My strategy here is to be totally open, to apologize when I mess up, and to do the best I can with my personality. It is what it is. I'm not the nicest person in the world, but I'm not the worst. I'm generous and loving and I know that I'll love her, so I hope that helps bridge any gap my character flaws create. I know she will have her own character flaws, and surely they will annoy me. I'll probably have to stifle feelings of jealousy that my little boy loves another woman best now. :( But, I'll try to be the grown up about it.

With my own MIL, I try to be as generous with her as I hope my future DIL is with me. I don't necessarily like MIL, despite years of trying, but I do care about her. Respecting her is a harder one. she is manipulative and while this may seem like a crazy reason to dislike someone, she wastes things to a degree that is just unthinkable. Very wealthy and treats everything like it's disposable, doesn't ever repair anything, doesn't recycle, etc. So it's just hard for me to get past those specific issues. So sometimes I imagine that my son's wife would look at me one day and think "she laughs at the wrong times, she judges people who don't repair things instead of buying new, she worked too much, she's bitchy to FIL" etc. All these things could be said about me. I try to put myself in that place, and think, some kindness to MIL, who loves my husband and kids more than anything, is in order.

I hope someone will do at least that much for me one day. But, I also will try not to push at her or manipulate her. Seems like that's the number one complaint people have. [/quote]

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