Reply to Become a step-parent or end the relationship

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Become a step-parent or end the relationship"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, sounds like you've made your decision.

But if you do decide to give this a little more time before you make the break, a few pieces of advice.

First, I would advise you to be mindful of this girl's age.  Thirteen is, for many of us, not the easiest or most admirable phase of life.  I don't know about you, but I was (from what they tell me) just lovely to be around as a younger child and as an older teen, but that was definitely NOT the case when I was this young woman's age.  So, a little bit of extra forgiveness and understanding can really help with keeping your patience during those inevitable trying moments.  Remember, as an early teen, she is developmentally right on target to roll her eyes and dish out attitude, especially given the hormones coursing through her body.  It's a tough time for kids.

Also, this kid already has two parents.  Unless and until you forge a strong positive relationship with this girl (which can take years), I would be careful not to overstep your bounds in trying to enforce discipline, particularly if at this point you're only seeing her on a limited basis.  If she lived with you, it would be a different story.  My approach has been to try to build a relationship in which she sees me as simply a caring female adult in her life, not as a substitute mom.

If you do decide to try this, I think you and your fiance need to sit down and have a calm, matter-of-fact talk about how to make your relationship with his daughter as positive as possible.  But this will only work if you are willing and able to be open to revising your opinion of this girl and to finding the positives in her (I note that you did not mention one single good thing about her in your post, which is telling). If you have basically already decided that the kid is evil -- then this is doomed.

I wish all of you a smooth transition, whatever form that may take.

signed, stepmom to a 13-year-old girl

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics