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[quote=Anonymous]I'm engaged to someone with a 13 year old daughter. He has been divorced from her mom since she was 2 (separated before birth) and had custody of her during the early years. He's also in the armed forces and moved around a lot but she's always spent holidays and school breaks with him. We've dated for 2 years before getting engaged and are ready to set a date for a wedding late next year.

I'm noticing certain behaviors and I'm not sure how parenting will work out after marriage. In my opinion he lets her get away with a lot of things and doesn't discipline but rather buys her stuff. She is rarely required to clean her room, if she doesn't like what I make for dinner he fixes her something else, he buys her whatever she wants, he'll say that he's disciplining her for bad grades for example then totally reneges. once she even said to him that he needs to stop complaining since she and he both know she’ll get what she wants in the end anyway.

He says that he feels guilty for not being there 100% of the time AND he has limited time with her so he wants their time together to be fun rather than spent punishing her. I think she acts very disrespectful and doesn't see consequences for her actions. When I’ve spoken up in the past he’s turned it around on me.  For example,  he asked her to get the mail from the mailbox when it was snowing. She got upset, threw it on the table then went up to her room and slammed the door. I asked her to come back down and, in front of him, told her that she was being disrespectful to him and I didn’t want her doing that in my presence. Later on he told me that he felt like I was scolding them both WTF?????

I need to make a decision as to how much I can truly tolerate or accept. Or is it time to walk away.

Sorry for the long post but if you have experienced this. How do/did you deal? Do you say anything? Keep quiet? Attempt to discipline? Or just cut your losses in the love department?
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