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[quote=Anonymous][quote]She needs checklists and she needs to take half an hour in the morning and a half hour in the evening to put her things away. She needs to schedule organization time into her day[/quote]

First of all, you are not a failure and you are not an enabler.  It's very difficult to teach someone to be organized if you have never had to formally learn how to do it.  For so many of us, we take it for granted and it's not until you see someone like your DD (and my DH and 2 DSs) that you realize what comes so naturally and easily for you is way beyond them (my DD is more like me).

I totally agree with the checklists.  It's not just useful for making sure she gets out the door with everything, it's going to be a useful skill when she enters the real world.  I, the epitome of excellent executive functioning, have to use one.  It's an excellent tool for everyone and is also a stepping stone for learning to organize and analyze.  Remember, though, that whatever takes a NT person X days to learn, it will take someone with executive functioning deficits 5X.  If it takes 21 days for something to become a habit/routine, it will take people like your DD 105 days.  You just have to recognize that and manage your expectations and her expectations.

As far as keeping on top of things, you must schedule time each day for her to keep on top of the regular things.  We can't do any of that in the mornings because mornings are still chaotic at our house so we do 30 minutes after they come home from school.  It's a good 'immediate' after school activity because they don't have to expend much mental energy on it and they're moving aroundl.  When our kids walk in the door, the must put their shoes/coats in the closet and their backpacks/school things in their cubbies.  If at any time during the evening I see they haven't done it, I interrupt whatever they're doing and make them do it.  I don't care if they're on the phone, doing homework, playing, reading or whatever.  It's incredibly annoying for them but too bad.  They MUST get into a routine.  I've also done the same thing with my DH regarding the car keys.  We often have to switch cars and there's nothing more annoying than discovering, after he's left, that he's still got the car keys with him.  For about 3 months, whenever I saw the keys weren't in their spot, I made him immediately put them where they belong.  (It helps to have a DH that recognizes the benefit of developing this habit and commiting to learning it)

We're also teaching our kids to review the calendar before they go to bed and when they get up in the morning.  We look at what's scheduled for the next day (including lunch) and get together whatever needs to be gotten together (library books are a big thing).  We look at it again first thing in the morning.  Again, another good habit for all of them when they enter the real world.

Good luck![/quote]

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