Reply to Anyone adopt an older child from foster care?

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Reply to "Anyone adopt an older child from foster care?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I adopted from foster care and I did a sibling group with the oldest being 6.

The wait through foster care is not as long as you would expect if you accept some behavior problems and you increase your chances with a sibling group.

You should expect to need a lot of time off for the appointments.  Although I have a sibling group I have only one that has behavior problems and he has so many appointments.  There are at least two therapist a week in addition to the social workers and the family therapist you have to deal with.

The behavior problems take time for you to learn what method and environment set them off and what means work best for you to counter them.  There are many and don't expect the agency to be of immediate help they will help you set up more appointments with more therapist.

Bonding is not immediate but it does come.  You must foster for six months prior to adopting though a horrible thought but if it doesn't work you can end the arrangement.

The other issue I would bring up when accepting a child with behavior issues, and my child is not severe is child care.  Schools by law must be able to accommodate a child with special needs but other types of child care are not.  Day Care/ Summer Camps/ Extra Curricular sport programs may not having training to deal with behavior issues and that was one of the biggest surprises.  Foster Care Agencies have money to pay these services but the catch is many of the patrons won't accept the pay because the pay is either a month behind or the amounts are not enough.

Too me the behavior issues we have are not gigantic and we have made a lot of progress but it was way more work than I imagine which I hear from all parents.

I run a strict and consistent household and that has helped with the behavior because there are no surprises.   [/quote]

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