Reply to I don't like my co-workers and it's making me not like my job

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[quote=Anonymous]First, I'm sorry you are unhappy at your job.  Certainly, relationships with co-workers matter.  There's nothing wrong with "shopping around" for a better fit, if you have the opportunity.  But to do that, you need to figure out whether you have unrealistic expectations, or whether you and your current co-workers really don't get along.

For example, it's normal for folks with families to not be able to hang out together after work, to want to just get as much done during the day as possible so they can leave on time, etc.  A new job is unlikely to change that: even if you find someplace where everyone is single and wants to hang out, that will change over time.  It's not personal to you and if that was your only complaint I would suggest you just join some other social groups and not expect to make real friends at work.  Ditto the fact that people don't ask about you: people like to talk about themselves and it's common to forget to ask after co-workers, particularly if you already don't have a lot in common (e.g., they can't ask about your kids etc.).

If they truly do behave differently with you than with each other, especially after two years, then that is ill-mannered at the least.  What is their reaction when you join them for lunch or start a conversation -- do you guys have anything to talk about?  Possibly you just have hugely different interests, or possibly they are jerks.  But shutting your office door isn't helping, and if you've been doing it for a while you may be putting off a hostile vibe by now.  I would suggest you continue to make yourself available and friendly in a non-pushy way: say Hi in the hallway every time, join them for lunch sometimes, maybe try to organize a low-key social thing in the name of office morale (will your boss sanction an extra hour for lunch so you can all go out to a restaurant one day?).  Don't drop by offices just yet, or start long personal conversations: just be friendly and approachable and see where that gets you.  Good luck![/quote]

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