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[quote=Anonymous]Does anyone have any resources or advice? ExDH was diagnosed as narcissistic. We are in the process of divorce. He seems to have gotten worse - he has a new girlfriend who is also very narcissistic.

He pushed for a 50-50 schedule and seems to be even worse about using the kids (young elementary) to meet his needs. I've seen several books for adults on overcoming the effects of narcissistic parents, but would obviously like to do what I can to help the kids now. He will not consent to therapy for them, "there is nothing wrong with me or with them" despite the kids having been in therapy previously.

Oldest DS said something about feeling like "his life is being erased" and I can relate after living with DH. He said "Dad doesn't want me to have any other friends" and I've seen DH encourage him to not interact with kids even at birthday parties, but rather to focus on him. He doesn't want the kids to bring anything to his house, he replaced everything, he doesn't want any reminders of their "other time" there. He and gf are very socially isolated, the kids basically watch tv the whole time they are there. If they bring up things that they are interested in, DH either doesn't reply or shifts the focus back to himself. He seems to only be interested in them looking good, doing well in school and in sports, but he invests no time in helping them achieve those things.

I have given up any hope of changing him or of him showing empathy or an understanding of the kids' needs. We are going through a custody eval and hopefully I will end up with more time but DH is very manipulative so it is a crapshoot.

I am trying to validate them, have structure, encourage their interests, spend time with other healthy families. Any other thoughts?

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