Reply to First grade daughter wants to cancel next week's play date

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you're on the right track to continue to probe a bit. Asking her outright may or may not work; some questions along the lines of "What kinds of things do you think you and X would like to do on your play date?" might help bring out the details. I do agree with others on keeping the play date (unless your child reveals that this other girl has hit her, or bullied her, or otherwise there are real issues).

Be sure to have some specific things ready for them to do -- Do not just usher in the new girl and say, "OK, go play." Have some crafts ready to go, with stuff out on the table and not still packaged up; have some games out already; have your daughter get out something she likes to play with and wants to share. Having some options ready and right there in front of them can avoid the "Uh, what do you want to do?" "I dunno, what do YOU want to do?" awkwardness of a first play date -- especially if your daughter is already feeling unsure about it. Later on, kids are great at running off and doing their own thing, but in this situation it might help to have some options of things they can be focusing on besides each other. Breaking in during a play date with a snack time also can help kids who are tentative around each other.

Also, explore the possibility that your daughter just may be feeling nervous about what to say, what to do; she may be worried she'll bore this new girl. It's possible she actually just wants to impress the other girl and is a bit nervous that she won't. Yes, it's possible too that there's something wrong between them, but the problem also could be that your daughter is just worried about whether the play date will go well.

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