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Reply to "If your spouse was a big law counsel/senior associate & did not make partner the first time up, then"
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[quote=Anonymous]I can’t speak from a spouse’s perspective but from the perspective of an associate who is there right now. I know biglaw is often mocked on this board but from the perspective of associates who really want to be partner and who killed themselves for it but were still told no -- often due to economy/politics etc. -- it is a kick in the teeth from those that you worked for 24-7 for close to a decade. So be kind to him and don’t say things like “there are other things in life” (of course there are). In terms of what he does next, it’s up to him. I’ve seen people react in all sorts of ways. There are some who put in their all for the second shot at partner without thought to what they will do if it doesn’t work because they don’t want that distraction. There are others who say the decision won’t change next time (it can - but sometimes it depends on the firm situation/what he has been told/what is being insinuated) so they start searching for another firm to take another shot at partner. Finally, there are those who shut down in such a way that they cannot deal with the thought of going through the process again someplace else and not having it work -- those are the ones who start looking at other opportunities in companies, gov’t, other types of firms and often find that there are great options out there that can be just as fulfilling -- sometimes that acceptance takes time though. Be there for him however he needs right now. For someone who makes it to such senior associate ranks, a lot of their self worth is tied to their job and suddenly that and the plan they had for their life has been shattered, and will continue to be shattered more as they inevitably apply for other jobs and don’t get them right away (not bc he won’t but just bc you most likely don’t get an interview every place you submit a resume). What does he seem to want to do -- support him in that.[/quote]
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