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[quote=Anonymous]OP -

I would venture to say you probably are numb right now.  You just had a bomb drop in the middle of your life and it is going to take some time to gather perspective and make the big decisions.

A couple of words of advice:

1) Get a good therapist for yourself.  Having a professional third party help you to work through your emotions and help you struggle with what you are going to have to digest will do you and your family a world of good.

2) Do not tell your friends or family at this point.  You may be able to work things out.  You may end up splitting up from your husband.  But those decisions lie within you and are too important to let your friendships sway you one way or the other.  Vent to a professional for now, not your friends or family.

There are no easy answers.  Marriage is never perfect and people do horrible things to the people they love.  If you both can grow from this to a better place, then things are salvageable.  You may however find there is too much hurt and distrust to build things back.  That's where having a third party that has your own mental wellness at hand will help.  You need to do what it takes for you to move on and be happy.  Might not be the same steps that your husband needs to take.  It is too soon to tell.[/quote]

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