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[quote=Anonymous]My husband is BPD, and it helped me enormously (in terms of recovering some dignity) to read about BPD behavior.

We were pretty young when we met (undergrad-- so not that much older than your daughter), and there was usually a teensy twisted kernel of truth in the things he yelled at me (and everyone else) before the yelling went off the rails... so I sort of believed him. Understanding how the BPD raging is constructed and a bit of what's actually going on inside the BPD's head really helped me to see that I wasn't the piece of crap he claimed.

I think it might also be good for you to talk through the mom's-rage-is-her-not-you with your DD. As often as necessary.

And of course, help her maintain as much of a support network as you can-- friends and family. It's probably more socially acceptable for teens to complain about their moms than it is for abused women to let on that they're being mistreated. For me, the situation has been very isolating, because my neighbors who hear everything prefer to deal with my otherwise charming husband rather than his withdrawn wife, my old friendships have been cut off because DH objected to each one in turn, or because I "came out" and these women (who were happy to list their own problems) decided they didn't want to be involved. Would help, especially for a teen, to have the support of her peers.[/quote]

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