Reply to What is my obligation here?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "What is my obligation here?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Realize the short answer is "nothing," but I have a conscience and am therefore struggling with this. Would appreciate insight from people who've been there.

Cousin is mid-70s with a stage 4 brain tumor, hoarder who lives alone. VERY limited mobility, has caregivers come in daily for 5 hours/day. Thus far has slipped in the shower once (caregiver managed to catch her) and fallen once, resulting in a concussion and stitches. Relies on friends/neighbors for food, transport to medical appointments and assistance with her medical device. Refuses 24-hour care or assisted living.

I visit regularly but feel out of my depth--not entirely comfortable dealing with the medical device and definitely do not feel capable of preventing falls.

It's only going to get worse. I get that I have to respect her wishes, but does that mean I also have to take part in it? I'm trying to do right by her, but it is utterly draining and hard to watch. [/quote]

You have to detach enough to let her make her own choices while cognitively capable, but do what you can handle in terms of visiting. You cannot give her any advice or suggestions unless she wants them. There is a lot of letting go. Just try to enjoy the moment with her and tune out all the medical stuff. Think about what she would enjoy most during a visit-looking at old photos and reminiscing, a favorite food, time spent outside, certain music. Let go of what you cannot control and do what you can to create moments of joy.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics