Reply to Everyone says that they are busy with their own lives, no time for me

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[quote=Anonymous]This is a phrase that has always made me feel sad and left out.  I am in my mid-30's, work full-time, happily married, no kids, but I feel that everyone is too busy with their own lives to make room for me.  At work I hear people discussing their fun weekend plans, whereas we rarely have "plans" on the weekends--we go out and do fun things of course, but its mainly by ourselves.  I feel the lack of a social circle or strong family connections very deeply.  DH and I have lived in the area for a few years, and we did not have any connections to the area when we moved here.  I love my job but feel a void in the evenings and weekends.  Our families live very far away and we only see them once a year, and we both have very small families that don't enjoy spending time with each other, and DH's family is extremely dysfunctional and unpleasant to be around.

I feel left out at work too.  I've been at this job for almost 2 years, but people never stop by my office to say hi or chat for a bit, the way I always do with them to be friendly.  I still feel like I'm not "part of the group" despite the fact that my boss always writes that i'm a team player on my reviews.

I have gotten involved in a few things here over the years--volunteering, taking classes, meetup groups, different social groups, and have enjoyed some of them, but have never found a sense of belonging or feeling part of the community here, or found something that I'd like to really get involved in more deeply (my husband plays golf with a group that he's been in for a few years, I'd like to find something like that for myself, to have fun and feel a part of something, though he hasn't actually made any friends with this golf group--it amazes me that he doesn't really know anything personal about them.)  I feel like I hear other people say that they're busy with their own lives--friends and family, but don't really have that here for myself, and I really want that.

I have been feeling especially down about this lately.  I have been looking to find a therapist to discuss this with, but haven't really found a good fit yet (in NoVa).

I have made a few acquaintances here, but no good friends--no one to share personal stuff with.  DH travels for work a few times a month, so it is hard on me to feel so isolated here.

What I wish I had is a tight social circle--friends who get together a few times a month, celebrate holidays together, and vacation together, or a close extended family who keeps in touch regularly, enjoys being together, and gets together for weddings, vacations, etc.  It seems most of my work colleagues have this kind of connection, though most of them grew up here, and we're not from this area.

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