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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Tell me about three kids 4-5 years apart each "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. For various reasons, we can’t try for a third until the youngest is 4 (I’ll be 38). Anyone have this age gap between 3 kids? I worry we may be pulled in all different directions or that the kids won’t be close. I guess the positives are that they get more one-one time with us as babies.[/quote] It prolongs the vulnerable stage but allows for more 1:1 attention. In two years, your eldest will be >8 and your middle will be >4. Tread carefully on ensuring the 8-year-old doesnt get parentified or expectations beyond what you would expect if there were only 2. Learn how to babywear, if you dont already, because your kids will be more active outside of the house. You really need a solid marriage and support system to not only have 3, and thus be outnumbered, but also because of the spread. It will feel like you have two sets of kids because the older ones will be able to do a lot of stuff before the 3rd can and they'll group together. Baby #3 wont really be able to hang until 4-6 depending on their temperament which means eldest is >12 and middle is >8. You'll hit your sweet spot then whereas most families with shorter gaps struggle <5 and then its fun/easier from 5-13/15. Also, in the next two year while you are waiting to conceive develop strong family systems and routines to anchor your older two and for you and your husband/wife to be able to implement solo when a new baby gets added. Things like pancake or croissant Sunday, picnic dinner Tuesday, etc. Make sure they are contributing to the running of the household before a new baby comes so that it isnt seen as because of the new baby. As far as kids being close, age gap does not promise or ensure closeness. How the family functions as a unit and whether each kid feels accepted and valued does. Your eldest is going to have a very different experience compared to your other child(ren). Close gap can foster favoritism or comparison or triangulation. Bigger age gaps can also cause favoritism, lack of cohesive family unit and shared experiences, and resentment over opportunities (the baby usually gets a better setup because the costs are down once the elder kids are out of the house). [/quote]
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