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[quote=Anonymous]My parents live about 6 hours away by car. It's a quick flight. We see them a few times a year, and it is always my family (2 kids, 8 and 6, big dog, DH) driving to them. I would say we have a good relationship in that when we are all together it is very nice, and they love my kids, but I am sad that they don't seem interested in making an effort to come see us or be more of a part of our lives. This has been the case since my oldest was born, so it is not new, but as we head into the last weeks of school with recitals, etc., I again struggling with the situation.

We last saw them for a big family Thanksgiving so it has been over six months. I am in a very busy and stressful season of life with my job and some other things, including managing special needs/diagnosis for one of my kids so we have not made it their way since. I have asked them to come visit a few times and they always come up with a reason that they can't or kind of put me off. Example, I mention to my dad "That's not up to me, ask your mother." I ask my mom, "I have to talk to your dad." They are both in good health, are retired, and could easily afford a flight. They are eager for us to come their way this summer, which we will in August, so I doubt they will make it here before then. Any attempt to have a direct conversation about this goes horribly - my mom will start yelling at me and call me dramatic, even if I try to be super even keeled in bringing it up.

I know it could be worse and we are lucky to have a surface-level pleasant relationship, but it makes me so sad to think that they don't want more of a role in our lives. My oldest has recently said to me that she is sad they don't come to her sports events or recitals. I think this feeling is exacerbated by the fact that we have a few close friends with super-involved, local grandparents who obviously take great joy in participating in the day-to-day. I don't expect them to provide childcare or anything (though that would be amazing! we are kind of drowing with two jobs and RTO!), but it would be great to have them come for a weekend here or there. It feels lonely, I guess.

Anyone else deal with this? How do you get over it?[/quote]

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