Reply to Does anyone else's mom get depressed over the death of frenemies?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having a frenemy requires being invested in the person. [/quote]

+1, love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Something about these women interested her and attracted her. If she was indifferent to them, she wouldn't have talked about them so much and paid so much attention to what they did. Of course their deaths are impacting her, she likely defined herself in opposition to them for a long time.

It's not healthy but it is understandable IMO. I don't have any "frenemies" because I believe in transparency in relationships and wouldn't hold onto a pretend friendship with someone I didn't like. But I do have a former friend from years ago who I had a falling out with. We are not friends and don't keep in touch but I do sometimes think about how I'll feel when she dies. Morbid, I know, but I also know I'll grieve her in some perverse way. Even though I'm glad we're not friends. She hurt me a long time ago, and while I've ultimately forgiven her for what she did (we've both just moved on so much it seems silly to hold onto it) that strange connection remains. One day maybe she'll cross my mind and I'll look her up and find out she died (if I don't die first) and I know I'll have weird feelings about it and I'll mourn her in some way, even though we havent' been friends for 20+ years. [/quote]

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