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[quote=Anonymous]I’m 37f, feeling hopeless. Struggle with body issues, medical conditions that ruined my self-esteem, and eventually became a hermit since I graduated high school. Working from home and an on/off office job. Not great money but I lived with family. I gained a significant amount of weight due to depression and medical conditions, impacting my self-esteem even further. I think high school, as stupid as it sounded, shaped me because I had many girls who hated me,  a male friend who was not a good guy, and lots of men who often told me I was unattractive but doable.

This caused severe depression. I dealt with medical conditions - spinal stenosis and chronic pain, gerd, pcos, endo, and chronic BV. I gained 140lbs, significant stretch marks everywhere - all up and down arms and forearms, breast, stomach, shoulders, back, hips, thighs, butt, and legs. This has been impacted by weight gain but I already had them on my upper arms, butt, thighs, and hips and breasts as a skinny teen at 15. Suffer from bad rosacea too.

I want to change my life. Lost 140lbs, got a different job, and plan to pursue another lucrative career. I feel I can accomplish this. I just don’t think I will ever find love. I think most men will see me a red flag. I’ve had one partner and that was back in high school. No one since then. My life choices, body, and medical conditions ( specifically BV) left me too ashamed to date or be intimate with anyone. Now I’m in a position where I feel I’m too old, not super attractive, saggy breasts, loose skin, and those unsightly stretch marks. My chances of kids are never going to happen. I feel like if I started sooner, maybe life would be different, but I don’t believe so. I don’t drink and can’t with my medical conditions. I’m an introvert and homebody at heart. Men in general never found me attractive, and I don’t believe they will now. How do I cope with knowing I will never find love? [/quote]

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