Reply to Getting out the door every morning is so traumatic

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[quote=Anonymous]Hugs. My teen had long long meltdowns as a kid and she’s doing much better now. Still sensitive, but so so much better.

She did much better with solid routines and structure. That meant that we imposed the structure and she gave input, but when she started deviating from it: we didn’t let her make choices that would deviate. Ie she has always loved books. We would read her one (short) book between eating breakfast and getting dressed. If she begged/pleaded for one more book (and what parent doesn’t want their kids reading more?!?) we couldn’t give it to her because even if we DID have time, it meant that her anxious brain couldn’t rely on the once predictable routine; even if she was the one that broke it. She depended on us to be more strict than we wanted to be, and she thrived on it. A lot of parents of kids with special needs go the other way and are less strict, but for kids with anxiety and other related issues need their parents to draw those safe boundaries for them to thrive. If they on any level feel that they’re in charge of every decision, they may not know it, but they won’t feel safe. I’m not saying scream/yell/put them in time out. But repeat simple commands until it gets done and don’t let them play/don’t engage in discussions if they aren’t listening to you.  It’s so so SO much harder with a kid with special needs, but can be an amazing asset to their well being to know what their expectations are and that there is a safe grownup in charge of those boundaries. [/quote]

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