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[quote=Anonymous]As I reach the end of my 8th and last year as a parent of elementary school kids at two different public schools, I find myself reflecting on PTAs, their role in elementaries, and what is good about them and what can be problematic. I say this as someone who has served on two different PTA boards (always in support roles, not president or anything highly visible) and also had years where I merely attended meetings or volunteered but had no formal role. These last two years, I haven't even done that, and instead felt more like an outsider to the PTA. Here are some take aways from those experiences, I am interested in if they match with others or if people have other ideas.

[b]1. PTAs serve two purposes and they should be separate: (1) a communication and funding bridge between the school and parent community, and (2) event sponsor.[/b] These seem like the same purpose at first, because the goal of many events is to facilitate the relationship between families and the school. However, after a lot of experience with both purposes, I think it would be better if most PTAs separated them. The problem is that the event sponsorship role has a tendency to overtake PTAs, and it's also easy to lose sight of what, and who, the events are for. But if you separated those functions so you had a PTA whose job was simply to hold meetings, facilitate communication between families and the school, and raise money, I think those jobs would be done better and more efficiently and in a way most parents (and school administrators) would support. And then you have a separate events committee that can obtain funding from the PTA (and for events that are actually fundraisers, which IME tend to be a minority of events, can also send money back to the PTA) but it does none of the other stuff and just plans and executes events.

[b]2. PTAs must become very realistic about the bandwidth of families and the limited resource that is parental volunteer time.[/b] IME, the hardest part of being on the PTA board is getting people to volunteer, and the most annoying thing about not being on the volunteer board is constantly being asked to volunteer even when you have already volunteered and have zero bandwidth left to give. And after seeing this at two different schools and for a long time feeling the problem is that people are selfish or they are freeloading, I've actually done a 180. People are doing their best, and PTAs ask too much. Covid was a bit turning point on this for me, and also when the problem of getting volunteers became more critical because people were willing to do less. A lot of the people I worked with on PTAs blame this on everyone being more selfish, and there was a time I would have agreed. It's not true though. These last two years as I've stepped back and volunteered less, I've realized that most families are just making an intelligent choice for themselves and only volunteering as much as they can truly commit without overextending themselves. PTAs need to stop complaining about lack of volunteers, recognize how freaking exhausted everyone is, and adjust schedules and demands accordingly.

[b]3. PTAs are naturally cliquey, it's unavoidable, but it can be mitigated.[/b] If the biggest complaint of people on PTAs is lack of volunteers, the biggest complaint *about* PTAs I've heard is that they are cliquey or clubby and people don't feel welcome. The reality is that this is going to happen because being on a PTA requires a ton of work, when you do it you get to know the people you work with and become friends, and that will never not create a bit of a division between the "PTA parents" and everyone else. This is true in any organization, and it's not reasonable to expect PTA parents not to essentially form a friend group based on their shared activity. It's going to happen. However, it can be mitigated via self awareness and the single best thing I've found for avoiding the "clique" accusation? PTA board members should address it directly and talk to each other about how to avoid it. That's it. Just acknowledge "hey it's easy for people to feel this is a little private club, so as a group let's avoid things like standing in front of the school in a clump chatting during drop off which just reinforces this perception at a time when half the school will see it." Just acknowledging it and being self aware makes a huge difference, and you will find you naturally alter your behavior in useful ways and it starts to feel more "open" even if you also still spend a lot of time just with this group of friends at meetings and each others houses. You just tone it down at school. Noticeable shift.

I think that's it. Was just reflecting and talking to my DH about this morning (he has a very different attitude about the PTA in general than I do and it's something we've argued about over the years, my perspective has been shaped somewhat by things he has convinced me of over the years but the reverse is also true, we've both learned a lot).

Anyway, curious what others think. Maybe I'm just using this to process my big feelings about never being an elementary parent again after the next few weeks, but I thought this might be interesting to others on this board and perhaps prompt a conversation. Have at it![/quote]

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