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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t think it’s quite so black and white.

My xH would do what I called “technically not cheating”. First it was getting on dating apps (“but I never actually MET anyone!”), then it was sending intimate messages with an ex-gf, then it was spending hours a day scrolling through hundreds of women’s FB and IG profiles. Meanwhile, he had zero interest in sex with me, or even being around me at all. He’d work late, lock himself in the bathroom for an hour, I’d go to bed alone every night while he stayed up until 2am doing his creepy online stalking.

I almost would have preferred if we had a great relationship and he slipped up and slept with someone once, rather than what he did. It’s not just the act of PIV, it’s the whole context around it.

Since you said trigger a breakup rather than divorce - my standard now since I’m just dating, is if there’s anything that may even be getting close to crossing a line, I end it right then and there. No mess, no drama. I got so much criticism after my divorce along the lines of “you picked him! There must have been signs before you got married!” that I’m not taking any chances. It’s just not worth the risk for me.

Marriage is a bit different since there’s assets and often kids involved, but I don’t plan on ever getting re-married. [/quote]

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