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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Stay at home mom"
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[quote=Anonymous]You seem very focused on "this benefits the kids and it's what I want". But you need to actually address his concerns. It may be that what you think is "enough" is not what they think is "enough". If you're really going to be persuasive you need to think through retirement savings for both of you and the possibility of extra expenses due to kids having special or medical needs, plus family of origin stuff. Plus goals such as owning a home or early retirement. You might not think college funds are important but what if he does? Stuff like that. And the pressure of being the sole breadwinner and knowing that his options to change jobs or earn less in a job he likes better are very, very limited because you've damaged your earning capacity. He may worry that you'll become really boring (I'm not saying SAHMs are boring, I'm saying he might think that) and you'll live your lives basically separately because he'll have to work so much to afford it. This arrangement *can* be mutually beneficial, or not, depending on how it goes. If you're not conscientious and organized, he'll have the loss of income plus a messy household and the kids won't get the level of care they'd get in a quality daycare. It may be that he just doesn't think you'd make a good SAHM, maybe he doesn't agree with your approach to parenting or you wouldn't cook or keep the house in a way that he likes. Also consider that many people, including SAHMs, think their child benefits from a quality part-time preschool before starting Kindergarten. Which costs money.[/quote]
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