Reply to 2E parent of a 2E child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unfortunately sometimes the oldest clothes get ruined by our dryer. It snags on the lint trap and the oldest clothes have the most worn-out weak fibers, so they tear. It's a real bummer! There is no solution.

You need to accept his low executive functioning and minimize un-important stuff. For example, think capsule wardrobe. All pants are blue or gray. All tops go with blue and gray. All socks are white or black. If he likes something, buy duplicates. So he can't screw it up and doesn't have to think about it. Lots of people like capsule wardrobes because it's so much less effort.

Read That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week and hire someone, the parent-child relationship is far too fraught for you to help him successfully. [/quote]

Hire someone to come into our house to get him dressed every day?
To sit next to him in school and make him put his papers away in the folder?
To enter his brain and make him not lie about handing in work that is late, incomplete and/or missing entirely?
To sit there and force him to use the planner I buy him every single year that he won’t even open?
I hate this. 
I hate every single minute of this.

[/quote]

Hire someone just for the academics. For two or three sessions per week in which your son gets organized and does some work under supervision and with support. Read the book, I promise it will help you. Kids like this lie and avoid for reasons, their behavior follows certain patterns that make sense to people who do this as a job, and they are often much happier and much relieved when someone provides intervention and teaches them the skills they need. There are people whose job it is to help the kid work through ten paper bags of random school stuff and figure out how to deal with it. They will know the right things to do and say, and the kid won't push back as much because this person isn't a parent so they don't have the development drive for autonomy as much in that relationship.

Your interventions have failed, it's great that you are acknowledging that, and it's time to level up to an experienced professional. Then you will have more free time too! I understand you are super resentful and burnt out. The lying is hard to take, so is the waste of potential. But you need to wrap your head around the idea that your son has a very real disability and you can't view his "potential" without acknowledging that. He might take five years to graduate and that's okay. [/quote]

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