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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, just send the money and be glad you aren't dealing with this.  This is the easiest decision ever.  [/quote]

Yeah, I know.  But as I just texted a sibling, in the past I sent the money to reduce my sister's burden.  Now it would be to reduce her guilt.  So it's really not the same thing.  But yeah, I know.  Just suck it up and keep sending the money.[/quote]

The money is to reduce your guilt for not lifting a finger other than offering up unwanted advice about how to do it better.[/quote]

Yea, see, I knew this would get nasty quick.  Always a risk on DCUM.  None of what you say is true.

First, I feel no guilt whatsoever.  Were I local, I simply would not have done things the way my sister did.  I wouldn't have allowed our mother's care to consume my life as she has.  In fact, we have another local sibling who also does "nothing" but send money -- only half what I send.  My sister has made it brutally honestly clear to all of us for several years now that the main driver behind not putting our mother in a nursing home long ago is that she would find visiting her in a nursing home instead of her own home too depressing.  Were I local, I wouldn't feel that way.

Second, as I carefully made clear, we rarely if ever offered advice of any kind, unwanted or not, because (1) our sister did all the work and (2) she's not one who appreciates advice.  What we did offer was money and support.

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