Reply to How would you approach - Grandparent providing childcare

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[quote=Anonymous]Situation:
My FIL provides childcare for my SIL's children.  He has done this for her since the oldest was born 7 years ago - the youngest is almost 3 and a new baby is due early this summer.  My SIL is a consultant and works significant hours, her husband has more stable hours - but leaves the house early and arrives home by late afternoon - but he does not send my FIL home - so he takes advanage of having a baby sitter and will work out or do other errands.  My FIL generally arrives before 7AM and it is not uncommon for him to make dinner and give baths.

My FIL is not in the greatest health - but my SIL appears oblivious to how his taking care of the kids may be impacting this.  For example, last year he was admitted to the hospital for some pressure in his heart.  (He claims it was not a heart attack)  Coming out of this, my SIL put the baby in daycare 2 days a week so my FIL only has the oldest after school and the middle child for 1/2 days 2 days a week - but my SIL constantly complains about how costly daycare for 2 days a week is. (note - hey have money for new cars, a new house, a 3K swingset etc.)

It has gotten to the break point for the rest of the family - from a concern about the safety of the children.  Just last week, my FIL was watching my 5 YO nephew (different family in same city) on the weekend, SIL #2 came home and my FIL was asleep.  This was not the 1st time my FIL was found asleep while watching the kids, the SIL who he provides care for has commented on it before.

Any tips on how to have an intervention on this?  As with many families there is history and specific dynamics which need to be navigated - and we are about 8 hours away - so we just hear the stories 2nd hand.

Note - I changed some of the details as I do not want to out myself on DCUM.  Thanks for understanding.[/quote]

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