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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. 
Thank you to those who responded with insights and advice. It was helpful and I agree, I have to seek individual therapy to help me better regulate and deal with such circumstances when they arise. Started the search yesterday.

And also agree— I know deep down that I will never have the level of trust that I did pre-affair. I think I’ve just been deluding myself that we can get there again. I’m sad and resigned.

I do have my financial affairs in order, my own career and good family/friend support. It might help me to envision what practical, next steps would look like if things went south, so that I don’t feel like the rug was pulled out from under me.

The meeting was for drinks only and my husband called me as soon as it was over (a little over an hour). It was productive in that she wants to invest in his company and also will make introductions that will help his business. Obviously, not so great in that she will  be in the picture more. Need to figure out how I’m going to deal.

To those who think I’m overreacting and saying PTSD is unfair to war vets—fair point, it was probably an overstatement that I used in an anxious state.  But I did have a visceral reaction that tells me I need to delve deeper and figure stuff out.

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